CHILDBIRTH ISN'T THE MIRACLE - SURVIVING PARENTHOOD IS

Tuesday 29 June 2010

A Few Words

I have realised that I have got a new career - as servant to my children. I am butler, housekeeper, chef and cleaner. I am Maid In England. So I sat The Tweenager and The Tomboy down to have a little chat with them as it is constant demanding on their part and constant fetching on mine. Things have got to change I said. Mummy is not here to be your servant. I have A LIFE too you know. They nodded in all the right places. They promised to help Mummy from now on.
"Great" I said. "So you understand Mummy is not your servant?"
"Yes" they responded, in unison.
"Brilliant, well done kids" I said.
"Now get me some juice" screamed The Tweenager.
"Mummy! Pass me a biscuit" screeched The Tomboy.
I guess my little chat worked.

On another note, The Husband is pee'd off with me blogging about him. So from now on I am not going to tell him anything that I've written. And since he is too busy doing his expenses and Powerpoint presentations, he's not likely to check my website.
Anyway, I've discovered a little bit about what he does for a living. It's something to do with the environment. Which is absolutely NOT GOOD because I'm not really big on being green. If the black bin is closer than the green bin then I will throw the recycling in there. I always use the whole pack of baby wipes when changing The Toddler's nappy. I don't really care about animals under threat of extinction as I'm more interested in saving my brain from extinction. I will never ever stop using the tumble dryer even in this weather. I like wind farms but I don't care about alternative energy as long as my GHDs work.
As Kermit the Frog says "It's not easy being green".

The Husband has also been writing his parenting guide again. He says everything about the children that pisses me off is exactly what I do such as shouting and not listening and asking the same question again&again. It's true of course but I'm going to huff&puff for at least the next two weeks over this comment.

That's my blog contribution for the day. My life in a nutshell. Nothing ever changes, does it? xxxx

ps: I am very excited about Bret Easton Ellis's new novel - it's about the characters from Less Than Zero, twenty five years on. I wonder if I'm in it :)

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